So out.

Once again I have much homework to to but Im not doing it at the moment. Im too pissed off and f*cked up in the head to do it. I just got in another fight with my dad. Lovely right? Not. I'm so sick of him, his yelling, his anger, almost everything about him. I want to leave. I have to wait until he sleeps though. I ask once again when is life going to get any better? Family sucks, "friends" suck, boys suck, school sucks, EVERYTHING sucks! No worse than sucks its...I dont know I cant even put into words what it is. Its so many things I want to scream so loud I want to dissapear just fade away and no one will notice. I hate everything. Everyone. All of it. Im just so fucking sick of everything. I dont want to be here anymore. Its at a point where I dont want to live. Yeah. I need help but whatever. Tried to get some but you know what? I got yelled at. Yep my dad yelled at me about how its my choice to be "happy" or "sad" well you know what im fucking sick if it was my choice I would be dead or far far far away from here. Im tired of faking emotions, im tired of acting EVERY SINGLE DAY, pretending to EVERYONE that im okay and life is all happy and good. What the hell is happy even? Its all fake emotions are fake everything its so fake. Stupid. Blast the music a little louder its the only thing that keeps me here. Dreams are dead. Wishes dont EVER come true. Life is just a big ball of fucked up messes. I've heard too many times that every obstacle in life is just another test of life. Well you know what. I FAIL. I GIVE UP. IM DONE. STOP YOUR FUCKING TEST BECAUSE YOU WON OKAY? Fuck. This whole blog has just been a whole bunch of anger. I hope no one reads it. If you do im sorry. Its something I should keep to myself but I cant do that anymore thats how people explode. Sorry if you read it but I needed to get it down in words at least.